I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
