I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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