morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
