I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize