Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
