is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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