Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
