new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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