i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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