this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
