Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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