I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
