Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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