She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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