I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
