Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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