Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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