so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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