Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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