at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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