Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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