last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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