You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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