he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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