Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
