the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
