Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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