I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
