Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
