i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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