This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The struggles of a small town man whore
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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