i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
