do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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