whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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