We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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