There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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