Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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