But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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