"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
