Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
