I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I want a musical about memes.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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