we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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