Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
