Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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