1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize