is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
it's like iHOP with fire
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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