Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
