sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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