My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
