waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
