anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
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