My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
