I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
