if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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