This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
